Day 259

I swear
I can tell you're smiling
from how your breath changes
from deep sighs
to soft exhales on my neck

I swear
I can taste the poetry
on your tongue when you
kiss me because
the words reach my heart

Day 258

and sometimes,
you even make me feel beautiful.
and that's really fucking hard
to do.

Day 257

I want nothing more than
to bottle up the way I felt
when we first met
and keep those butterflies in a jar
so I shall never forget

Day 256

we were perfect together
every time I saw you
I thought
I could stand on your shoulders
and pluck a star from the sky
we were invincible
you and I

a perfect balance
leaning on each other's shoulders
I wanted to stop time
and stay like this forever
but you began leaning too hard
and we both fell to the groundyou and I

Day 255

you were a mistake
not the way you kissed me
or the dates you planned weeks in advance
not the way your eyes lit up when you saw me
or the knee-slapping laughs we shared

it was not a mistake
that I fell in love with you
or that you told me 'forever'

the mistake was that
I listened
and I truly thought you'd stay.

Day 254

I've wiped away all the physical evidence
that you were here
but that's still not enough
because even if your closet is empty
and the other side of the bed is empty

I can still see the dent of your body
where you always slept
and I can still see your fingerprints
on the refrigerator door
and I still wake up wondering
why your arms are not around me

Day 253

I made a home in your arms
carved your collarbone to
perfectly rest my head
slowed your heartbeat
so I could fall asleep to
the sound of soft footsteps
laid your arms tightly around
my waist so I would always
feel safe no matter where my
dreams took me

I made a home in your arms
so I would always have a
place to return, to find solace
at the end of a bad dream
I knew your arms were there
to remind me I was not alone,
to rid me of my worst fears
and protect me from the bad

I made a home in your arms
and I don't know what changed
but you began showing up
in my nightmares and my head
no longer fit in the delicate
curve of your neck and I awoke
to find you had pushed me aside
and you were sound asleep with
your arms at your sides